Lecture substantiates hate for Aussie Idol

Now I don't have anything against music. Nor do I look down upon young people trying to transform their talent into a money filled lifestyle. Hell, if there was a show called "So You Think You Can Recite All The Words To The Lord Of The Rings Trilogy" I would be right there in front of the Burswood Dome at 4 in the morning, fully made up and dressed as an Elf from the Woodland Realm, ready to audition and praying to make it big. Yet Australian Idol makes me want to run way, become Amish and live out my days tending to wheat in Pennsylvania and wearing a cotton pinafore, simply to avoid ever having to watch this show. Why? Because it drains creativity from the souls of the heedless. They go in there to audition and, amongst all the people in weird costumes (some probably mistaking it for the auditions of my LOTR show) their singing reminiscent of either a jet plane taking off or the monotone strangulation of George W choking on a pretzel, they stand out because they can actually sing. Some quite well in fact. Some even play musical instruments which suggest they may have more then just a passing interest in music. You think to yourself maybe this year will be different? These people really seem like intelligent, talented individuals surely capable of producing music that doesn't fade into the background along with The Pussycat Dolls and all those folks who think putting a drum beat to an old song constitutes song writing. But alas, as the weeks continue and they are forced to sing other people's songs, dance around the stage in sometimes hideous and embarrassing outfits, their individual creative talents begin to trickle out of them. Firstly it's indistinguishable, but becomes blatantly obvious when the winner finally produces an album, so far removed from who they used to be but reflecting only who the show has made them. Which is whatever the record company thinks will market well to an audience made up mostly of teenage girls.

Now, today as I sat in a darkened lecture theatre, it's dim lighting and slight stuffy warmness far more conducive to sleep then learning, my hatred for Aussie Idol was justified. Last semester, when tackling a particularly tricky essay I was told by a tutor that you can really argue what ever point you desire as long as you can find someone credible to agree with you and reference them. So just like the moment when you finally come across an obscure book on the bottom shelf of the mustiest corner of the library, written completely in German, but once translated contains the gem of wisdom that supports your argument, which before that was completely unsubstantiated and your argument consisted of "because I think so", my lecturer provided me with the research material I needed to geekify my Aussie Idol argument. No longer did I have to just yell "but I don't like it" louder than those yelling "but I do like it". I had proof. I had someone who agreed with me. I had street cred. Or lounge room debate cred. Whatever you like to call it. He was talking about Post Modernism and in particular the notion of pastiche - the stealing, copying, borrowing of artistic works without any regard to it's meaning or cultural significance. The example was given of Aussie Idol where we watch them sing other people's songs, often without knowing or caring what it's about. Even the judges will say that they aren't engaging with the song. They are not creating. They are not trying to put across a message. They are simply imitating and we just don't care. Well I do, and I am sure others do as well. But now I have the proof. I knew I went to uni for a reason. To win arguments.

Aussie Idol has ruined my life in other ways too. I used to love Michael Jackson's "Can You Feel It", often alarming other drivers with my frantic car dancing, getting so worked up that I am sure other motorists thought I was perhaps having some kind of seizure and just in case, they changed lanes to avoid me. Along with strange looks, this song brought me joy. It's upbeat and makes you want to dance. I guess that's why Aussie Idol decided to use it on their advert. Either that or they have a secret and unfounded hate for me and decided to do it purely out of spite and are currently sitting behind their big mahogany desks, laughing their little asses of at my misery.

You decide.