Statistics made me do it

Statistics show that those who do not make friends within the first few weeks of university are far more likely to drop out, not finish their degree, and most probably continue to lack essential social skills throughout the rest of their lives, relegating them to solitary careers, such as Night Filler at Coles, or Web Designers. Since I do in fact want to become a web designer one day, I was torn between which road to follow, leaning slightly towards staying friendless as it seemed to add to the mystique that I have been working so hard on attaining. I mean, I already have friends don’t I? Friends that know what my favourite drink is, how many tattoos I have, whether I am a morning or night person. Friends who have shared many a hilarious moment, who at the mere mention of the word ‘snowpea’ fall into peals of laughter recalling a shared experience. Friends who aren’t fazed by my tendency to over dramatise everything, and to tell stories with many unnecessary flourishes of the hands, as if I am an old Italian man, hawking his wares on the streets of Sicily. Why would I want to make new friends who wouldn’t appreciate the intricacies that make me….well me? Because if I was to one day become a successful web designer, I would need a degree. And to get a degree, according to statistics, I would need uni friends.

So begins the hunt. Each person I passed now was a potential friend. Although I had many people in my classes who I would give a cursory wave to as we passed each other, there was no one who I would have invited over to my grandmothers house for her famous Chicken Schnitzel (as I have now been vegetarian for five years, I would be served the famous frozen fake chicken nuggets, made from soy, instead, of course). I felt like a hunter stalking its prey, considering each person and deciding whether or not to take the shot. Those I considered ‘good meat’, I would stalk, placing myself in their path so they had no choice but to say hello to me and realise in that instant that I was a great friend to have and would bring much humour and chocolate into any relationship. Those who were ‘bad meat’ were swiftly avoided allowing them to continue on with their herd, unknown to my presence.

One day, as I was scouting Bush Court for potential friends, I heard a call.

“Kacy” it yelled, rattling me, as I knew that it wasn’t a common name and therefore was most likely to be referring to me. I turned and saw in the distance, herded into a neat circle, basking in the sun and sharing the kill they called ‘lunch’, a group of people from one of my tutorials. I was unsure, as I turned to walk towards them, to whether their call was one of mocking my loner status, or a genuine offering of friendship. I felt like I had now become the hunted, my body tense, like a deer startled by a hunter, ready to bound away at the first sign of danger. Nose to the air, sniffing out anything to indicate friend or foe. Wariness clung to my steps even though a smile graced my face. As I greeted those I knew and waved broadly to those I didn’t, I began to worry that I had in fact misheard their call and had just plonked myself, uninvited into their circle, demanding friendship. Their smiles and joking manner, however, put me at ease and I even began to speak with subdued hand gestures, not wanted to scare them off this early, but giving them a taste of what it was like to be friends with me.

Even though they didn’t know my favourite brand of soy milk, or that I was learning to play the piano, these people were genuine, kind and funny. And I realised that all friendships start small and eventually, as well as keeping me on track with my degree, these people that I was sitting with could very well, one day know everything there is to know about me.